"Humour" and voices

Deaf Man Hears Voices In His Head - Doctors Baffled

The Spoof

Written by Duncan Whitehead

06 October 2008

"They wouldn't even let him take a shower in peace. Poor sod. A man from Newport Pagnell, believed to be suffering from schizophrenia reported hearing voices in his head - despite the fact he has been deaf since birth!

Christopher Worm, 23, tried to explain to Doctors that he heard voices commanding him to do something on Saturday night - but as Christopher can only lip read and do sign language he had no idea what those instructions were.

After an extensive search for a psychiatrist who could understand sign language Christopher was able to explain that he has been hearing the voices intermittently for five years - he also has feelings of paranoia.

Renowned fake psychiatrist Harold K Nutt told me "Why these spirits and ghosts are picking on a deaf kid who can't understand them is beyond me. These poltergeists or aliens or little people in your head need to jump into a normal persons head and make them mad" confirmed Nutt, who was chewing a turd."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.